maahum's w0rld ☆

i love the midwest so dearly but i never really knew why i was so attached to this place. i mean yeah it's my home but i still could never really come up with a solid reason as to why i am so opposed to leaving. my love for the midwest is relatively new. i used to dream of packing my bags and leaving and never looking back. i didn't even know where i wanted to go. i just wanted to leave. i couldn't really figure out what changed until somewhat recently. at some point i started seeing places as people. probably a year or two after i moved to chicago. even then, i loved chicago, but i never felt any sort of way about the rest of the midwest.

i've always wanted to be one of those people who can go outside and point at any tree/bird/bug/etc and know exactly what species they are. this has been one of my main goals over the past few years. i never really cared to learn about the flora and fauna of other places though. i was always somewhat interested, but i just never cared as much... you could show me the coolest bird in the world and i would still rather watch the turkey vultures circling around south quad.

i've realized that the main thing keeping me in the midwest is the native flora and fauna. i see the land as a person and i am so deeply in love with her! a few weeks ago one of my horticulture professors was talking to me about how she when moved down here from chicago for grad school she was shocked to see sweetgum trees for the first time. northern illinois is too cold for a sweetgum. i keep saying that people can come and go as they please, but the cold hardiness of a tree will never change.

i've been reading a lot of aldo leopold lately. freshman year of college i read the land ethic for an intro to environmental science class and it changed my life. i finally got around to reading the rest of a sand county almanac. he talks a lot about how we need to see the land as part of our community. we are so intertwined with nature whether we choose to be aware of it or not. i've decided to be aware of it.

• it is all actually very simple and can be resolved easily
• time is my friend
• everything is connected
• hoes can't handle my infinite nature
• i am so deeply normal in ways u cant even comprehend
• i look for it in everything and i see it every time
• NO MORE ABSOLUTES
• i did not fall off
• it's actually really cool to be lame and freakish and embarrassing
• the curse has been lifted my soul has been cleansed
• i love everyone and you're next
• life the river i'm just a grebe
• repetition is a form of change
• we'll forgive each other til we both turn blue then we'll whistle and go fishing in heaven <3

i love 2 have mehendi on my hands because it's a constant reminder of the passage of time

maybe i'm weird 4 this but i tend to find comfort in the fact that the clock is always ticking... i appreciate the consistency.

i've been playing so many itch.io games in the past few days and i'm getting sooooo excited about the 2d game design class i'm taking!! it starts after break :)

i've always been a 2d game person. i think most of my favorite games are metroidvanias or 2d open world rpgs. my favorite zelda game is a link to the past. like seriously, who says that??? don't get me wrong, i love skyrim and breath of the wild and stuff but nothing brings me more joy than a game like anodyne.

i've actually been meaning to make an rpgmaker game for years... anyone who has known me since i was 16 can confirm this has been cooking for a long time. at first i kind of just didn't want to bother putting all this time and effort into a project i would probably never finish. and i still kind of feel that way, but i think having a class to force me to keep working on it will be good for me. i've been trying to focus on my hobbies more than usual this year, and i feel like i've been doing a pretty good job. the main thing i've learned in the past few years is that you need to stop sitting around and just start doing the thing you want to be doing. one day i decided to be a person who crochets, and look at me now! i recently decided to get into birdwatching. i knew literally nothing when i started. and i still don't know much, but i'm learning! and i'm loving it! you just need to get started, and you'll figure out what you're doing eventually. anyways, i'm excited to get started and figure out wtf i'm doing along the way :)

lately i have been really into SILENCE and SOLITUDE!! peace and love

dont forget to periodically stick your hands into a large bucket of soil. the earth has healing properties. she will save you.

i think im getting it lol

umm